Trying to make time!

I've been so busy lately, I feel I have hardly any time for my little blog. So, I'll try to catch up a little bit.

Last week was exhausting. Every single day. Work is stressful. The pending doctor's appointments were always in the back of my mind. I'm glad last week is over.

The blood draw was nothing exciting. I had to remind them I needed to give them my urine! We were in and out in about 30 minutes. We're still waiting for the final results from the NT Scan, but we did see a "normal" baby on the ultrasound screen. The sonographer made the critical measurement on the back of the neck and commented, "good measurement there". I let out a huge breath and realized how much tension had gripped my entire body. After about the first 5 minutes we were able to almost enjoy the appointment. Something I never thought would be possible. Lots of tears and smiles. Through the appointment I told Carol (the sonographer) about Emma and our last experience in a detailed ultrasound. Why this wasn't really exciting for us & how we knew what could happen in these appointments. She was sympathtic and understanding and started printing off picture after picture after picture & handing them to Ron! Sympathy does funny things to people! It was quite funny. Ron swore he saw something in between the babies legs ( I guess you know what he is hoping for) but no way could you ever tell at this point. At the end of the appointment, Carol flipped the screen to a 4D real time ultrasound! We were completely shocked! I said, "Oh my God, I didn't know we were going to get to see this"! By this time we were in tears. I asked many questions point blank, "do you see anything wrong at all, please tell me, please be honest." She had nothing to say except it all looked normal.

We scheduled our meeting with the genetic counselor along with our 20 week anatomy scan for October. Carol told us we could request her for the anatomy scan if we would like. Of course, she now knows our story and would understand our nervous state for that appointment. I already warned her how that appointment will be very emotional and difficult. She promised to be there on that specific day. I'm already relieved. I know the anxiety will hit days before that appointment and the memories of the last anatomy scan where everything went so wrong will be replaying in my mind. But it's good to know we will at least see a familiar face when we arrive.

So, we wait for the final results of the scan. I'm terrified of the phone call and feel like a "sitting duck" for the time being. Hopefully they can just tell me over the phone and not completely freak me out and say, "can you come into the office". Or totally send me into hysterics by asking if my husband can also come with me. That's always a very, very bad sign. We're hoping for the best, but always prepared for the worst. Dealing with collateral damage from the last year is still very much a daily struggle. But one day at a time, I am surviving.

Here's the best 4D picture from the NT Scan. And you can tell very clearly that "Baby Googie" has his/her thumb in his/her mouth! Our hearts melted just a little bit. No matter how much we try to deny it, we're totally in love with this little one.