I love flowers! I never buy any for the house but I did get some for Jen on her birthday...so just for fun, I worked on my photography...... (ahem..... I mean.....randomly took 100 shots of them and hoped one would come out OK) and took some pics of them. I'm working on mastering the art of the "blurry background", AKA aperture priority mode. These were the prettiest flowers!
This year is just flying by. I can't keep up with the dates! I can't believe it's already August. Though I'm pretty sure everything will just start to drag by now. Pregnancy seems to do that! I've never been someone to keep a diary...my mom was a little nosey!! But I'm getting the hang of it here. I'm a sucker for documentation. I LOVE scrapbooking for that reason alone. I'm going to try to do more writing about what's going on day to day. I'll have to back track a bit to tell everyone about last weekend and the awesome suprise birthday party we had for the sweetest lady around Mrs. Jen!!! I mean, we had my two doxies running back & forth across the dining table, her Mothier-in-law and Sister-in-law taste testing doggie treats and the remainder of the ice cream cake took flight in the kitchen - we almost had ice cream covered beer-butt chicken, yummy!! And the funny thing is.....nobody really had much alcohol at this party!!!The count down has now begun to our trip to the Frio River in September, oh and the reason why we go every September....our Anniversary on September 1st! Even though this year we won't actually be there on September 1 - boo! We'll be arriving September 7th! I CAN"T WAIT!!! It is so miserably hot. I never just jump into the river, it's just to cold for me. But this year, it may be different, I'm dying from the heat!! And we're praying for rain! Texas is in a severe drought and the river is really suffering. I glad that the place we stay is on a deep part of the river and never really dries up. I have seen pictures from earlier this summer and my goodness, Frio needs rain!!!! So, I am starting my rain dance everyday until the day we get there!! I know what will happen....it will rain our entire vacation! It rained for the first two days of our honeymoon, but we'll just say we didn't mind too much! Here's a funny story.....I told Ron, every year when we go back, I want to find a heart shaped rock to write the anniversary date on it to save as a keepsake, because I'm just a big, huge nerd like that!! He said, "awww, how sweet", while rolling his eyes! I then told him they will get bigger every year and if he ever acted like an sarcastic ass, I could throw them at him!! Being it's only our 2 year anniversary, he's still pretty safe from being knock unconscious. Here's our first anniversary rock from last year! I will look for a little bit bigger one this year! ~And the picture it is in front of is of the rock bluff where he proposed. All together now......awwwwwww!!! I told you I'm a big, huge, sentimental nerd like that!
I'm feeling pretty good and when I'm not, I welcome the nausea & exhaustion. I had no sickness with Emma, so anything different this time around kind of brings a little relief and comfort. I' m at the 6 week 4 day mark today. I've been warned this is when the morning sickness can really kick in. I'm ready, bring on the puking! Pregnancy brain has kicked in. I'm doing alot of really stupid stuff! I really amuse myself, Ron - not so much! I branded my forearm with a fork that I had left sitting in hot grease. Of course not intentionally, but I did do it to myself! I have four perfectly spaced fork tines on my forearm! It looks like a tiny bear tried to claw me!Another really funny thing......I cried listening to an Aerosmith song in the car the other day! And then started laughing at myself for crying. I must say hormones are a crazy thing & thank goodness I have dark tinted windows on my car. The crazy dreams have also kicked in. I dreamed the other night I was far, far away from home in the middle of the boonies & my car was stolen. I called Ron completely frantic and he said it was my fault fornot getting an alarm and I now had to live with these hillbillies in the middle of nowhere for the rest of my life. REALLY WEIRD!! I think it's safe to assume I have some serious abandonment issues!! Losing Ron (in any way) is my biggest fear.
Overall, I'm just trying to be as light-hearted as possible about all of this pregnancy stuff and not worry to much. I'll admit, it's easier said than done. I've felt happier in the last several weeks since knowing I'm pregnant again, but knowing that if things take a wrong turn, it will send me off the deep end. At least I won't have to make the "sorry, but everything went to shit" tour if things do go wrong again. Really, my little blogworld friends are the only people who know about this pregnancy, with the exception of Ron, my mom, my sister and Grandma G (who knew she could keep a secret??) I have to have faith that I've done all I can to help this little one along, the rest is up to the heavens. Though, don't expect me not to demand the heavens make all of this work out perfectly. "Are you listening heavens......my demands must be met or I'll...or I'll....I'll.....cry!" So much for threats, I know I'm helpless in all of this & threatening "the powers at be" does absolutely NOTHING, but get you labeled as: CERTIFIABLY CRAZY!!
On a totally different subject....
I recently contacted an organization that helps families deal with the loss of a child called, Compassionate Friends. I never knew they recognized pregnancy loss, but it's a sweet surprise to find out they do. It's actually a really long story of how I know the leader, Diane Mathis, of the group...but long story short, I had the honor of working with them to design this Memorial Garden. It's soooo beautiful!!! It's sits on the edge of town where the memorial fountains for 1947 Texas City Disaster Memorial are located. It's tucked away in the back corner of the garden complex. There are statues of children and beautiful flowers planted, but the main feature of the garden are the brick pavers. Throughout the garden pathway, there are bricks with the children's names engraved in them along with messages from the families. I visited the garden upon it's completion and was brought to tears. I didn't expect to see some of my fellow classmates and friends names listed there. Through a big chance of fate, Diane Mathis popped up on my Facebook page the other day!! I sent her a message telling her how honored I was to work on the garden, how beautiful it was and I understand first hand how important it is to remember. I told her my story. She asked if I would like a brick for Emma in the Garden!!! Of Course!!!! So the ball is rolling and I have filled out the paper work to send in to have a brick placed in the garden for Emma. I'm really excited about this. We have no place to go and see her name, no cemetery plot to visit. This will work for me. I'll post photos as soon as it's in place! I don't know why, but there is something very important & special about seeing her name. If your a babylost momma, you understand. It's all we have left, no memories, no photos, no birth stats.....just a name. We cling to see acknowledgement of that name.
And on another totally different note.....
I am happy to report an AC man came to the office to talk about installing a new AC unit in our office! THANK GOD!
Tomorrow afternoon will be very interesting I'm sure! I have a dental appointment. I can't even brush my teeth right now without gagging. Soooooo, it should be tons of fun - right? My hygienist already doesn't like me and I'm afraid she may hate me after tomorrow.
Well, there are my totally random thought & happenings of the day/week. It's 10:15 and I'm showered and ready for bed. I'm completely exhausted! I promise I won't be such a stranger around here! Even if it's just pointless, random crap like this.
I am so behind!! I didn't know your were pregnant!! CONGRATS!!
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